Gilda Radner said, “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” 

Historically, I have not looked positively at ambiguity.  I definitely would never have called it delicious.  For me the word has been about communication.  When something is ambiguous it can be interpreted more than one way, it is vague, unclear.  I like clear, concise communication.  Knowing where I stand and what I am doing gives me a degree of comfort.  Don’t get me wrong, I like spontaneity and adventure as much as the next person, but when it comes to communication, I like clarity.  Say what you mean for goodness sake!!! 

The quote from Gilda Radner made me think about how ambiguous life is.  The future is not clear.  I look back over my life knowing that I could never have predicted where I am today and most people who knew me as a teenager would never have imagined it either.  (and that is really good).  I look forward and know that I can plan for some things, but I don’t know a lot about what will happen until I get there.  The possibilities may not be endless, but there sure are a lot of them.  And I am going to celebrate that.

Think about your life.  What about:

The situations you have learned from,

The things that have amazed you,

The people you have loved,

The things you have been blessed with. 

Lots of surprises.  Delicious Ambiguity.

Veteran’s Day has taken on a new meaning for our family in the last couple of years. As I grew up, it was a time to remember the service of some for the greater good of the whole. I knew that it was a time to show respect for members of the armed services who have given their time, service and lives to our country. It still means those things to me, but now it has become more personal. And while I am glad for my new attitude, my new respect for the folks who have served in the name of freedom for the last couple of hundred years, I am also saddened that as an American, it took a very personal experience to get me to that place.

We are our country. America is not just a place, but a culture and attitude of freedom. We should celebrate that and the people who have made it possible for us. I applaud our freedom of speech in this country, but never at the expense of belittling the folks who made it possible for me to have it.

I sent the message below to some friends and family that have served in the armed forces.

“On this Veteran’s Day, I wanted to make sure that I thank soldiers and their family members for your service to our country.

I believe that we live in the greatest country in the world. Not perfect, but the best, and I believe that is due in part to our military. I want to make sure that the people I know and love, know that their service, sacrifice, hard journeys and the journeys yet to come are appreciated.

I also want the family members to know that I believe their service is important too. Just ask a soldier how important their family is to them. Priceless. I know what it is like to wait and pray for a soldier, for individuals, platoons, companies, our country and leaders every day. I also know that as I was praying for soldiers I didn’t know, there were people praying for my soldier as well. I am humbled.

No service is too small. Like a chess game, all the pieces have different jobs, some have more responsibility or power than others, but the game could not be played without them all.

Thank you for your service to our country, to me and to our collective future.
In honor, love and respect, Marie”

Thank someone today for their service. No matter how big or small the contribution, it is the effort of the collective that has made the difference.

Irony takes many forms. I had to get another password. Why you ask? Guess!

…who knows! Honestly I couldn’t remember my password if my life depended on it. Which password you ask? To what? ANY of them. I have so many, its ridiculous. Imagine an old school custodian, (does anyone call them custodians anymore?) with a huge ring of keys that all look the same.
“Wait, wait a minute.” he mumbles, “I know I have it here somewhere.” he continues as he goes through the keys on the ring. I don’t think he ever finds it and neither do I. The only reason I remember my email address is because I use it all the time to retrieve my lost passwords. Every now and then I will put in the right password and I am stunned. I want to jump up and down and scream “I did it. I’m a genius!” Of course I don’t because besides looking like a complete idiot, I would confirm I was an idiot when I revealed my eureka moment was to remember my own password. Tell me I’m not alone.
Yes, just trying to write this blog I forgot my password. That is the real reason my blogging is so sporadic, I can’t remember my password. The silly thing is, the experts tell you not to use the same password for everything, but when you make up different passwords, you can’t gain access to your own life, because you forgot your password. I could type anything. I always think it’s a good idea at the time. “oh, I’ll never forget this one.” or “this is so outrageous, how could I forget.” I’ll tell you how, EASY.
Good thing that I was allowed to tell everyone my name and write it a few thousand times or I would have forgotten that too. No, I don’t want to hear that middle age is approaching. I know you forget your passwords. You can’t fool me. Well, unless you are a secure server that I am trying to access my own information on. Then maybe you can fool me. If you see me wandering the streets mumbling, “Wait, wait a minute.” you know I’m lost. Just give me a password.

So I love Noodles and I love doodles. Check out these Noodle-Doodles and make one of your own. Remember, you are what you eat. haha

I was listening to my I-Pod the other day and my granddaughter, Ella, reached for it and wanted to listen too. I picked her up and stuck one ear bud in her ear and left one in mine. I happened to be listening to a cheesy country song, but it had a great beat and was fun to dance to. Ella got a huge grin on her face and started moving. (She LOVES to dance.) We danced around the room with me singing at the top of my lungs. What a great moment. Pure happiness with one of my favorite people on earth.

I wish I had a life highlighter. Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to highlight certain moments in your life and revisit them? I don’t mean a video of the birthday party, but a true highlighter that could capture the essence of the moment and let you live it again. I would highlight dancing with Ella.

What would you highlight? Let me know.

Here are the next two quotes.

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” — Ella Fitzgerald

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” — Muriel Strode

Ella’s quote is great. “Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” As a Christian, I need to own that. The Love of Christ is a free gift and He certainly has given me inspiration through His word, His Spirit, my experiences with Him and what I have seen in lives of others. I can’t go wrong if I am following God’s lead.

I also know that He has uniquely gifted each one of us and put a dream in our heart. The first part of the quote is great too. “Don’t give up.” That’s the hard part. Life certainly has a way of getting in the way. But then I have to remember, I have the Love and Inspiration of God within me.

And that takes me to Ms. Strode. Blaze a trail. How exciting. I can be an adventurer, an explorer, a trail blazer. If I follow God, I will blaze a trail through this world. When I read the New Testament books about the early church, I see trailblazers. I see adventurers. I want to live a life of adventure with God. What could be better?

Live Big today. Live like you have the Power of Jesus within you. And if you forget, remember He took care of that part too. Just pick up where you left off and keep blazing a trail.

I love quotes, mostly by other people. (now and then I quote myself, but I’ve heard that is just repeating yourself) I came across three quotes that really pushed me to think about the way I live. The quotes built on each other, so the order for me was important. Here is the first one.

“Worship is transcendent wonder.” — Thomas Carlyle

Wow. Transcendent and wonder. What better ways to describe worship and Our Lord!

Those two words really bring you back to the fact that because our God is not of this world, and we have His power within us, we are not limited by the confines of this world. What an extraordinary concept. That we are truly not limited by this world. I know we read that in God’s Word, but do I believe it for my everyday life? Do I really believe that God will work in super-natural ways and that I not only get to witness it, but be a part of it?

So that brings me to worship. When we are living a life of worship, we are living “out of this world.” We are having a super-natural experience when we worship. And I can live that way all the time if I put my heart into it. Worship is giving yourself to God in whatever you are doing. Putting Him and His ways first in your life. I believe that. I believe that worship is our love song to God and the possibilities are as individual as each person. So I need to remember those words. Transcendent and wonder. Like they said in the 60’s, “Outta this world man!” That’s my God. And it could be my life.

April is going to be a wonderful month. I look forward to the moments it will bring, the people I will spend time with and time I will spend just marveling at nature. My son will return from a year in Iraq, my first grandchild will make her grand entrance and spring will be in full swing. Wow, that is a great combo. I find myself vacillating between anxious anticipation and a wonderfully warm calm as I look forward to enjoying the moments to come. This anticipation, this excitement spills over to all aspects of my life as I focus on what is yet to be and what I will get to be a part of.

I realize that this is how I could feel most of the time. I have something wonderful to look forward to everyday. Heaven. Most of the time my perspective is very short-sighted, a moment, an hour, a day, maybe a month or two. I forget about eternity. Eternity already started and I forgot. I could be living with the excitement, the anticipation, the surety that I am already a part of something spectacular and the best is yet to come. I could let the wonderment spill over my every day. Unfortunately, I can only practice it moment by moment. I still live here. Now. But God knows that too.

I have joined the ranks of commuters, driving an average of 45 minutes each way on the weekdays. I haven’t really had to do this since I lived in Southern California over 15 years ago and feel lucky for that fact. I haven’t missed spending so much time in my car, but I don’t really mind it that much either. I have found myself surprised by a few things I have experienced since I started to commute.

1- People forget where they are.
Snowy days bring out all the drivers who have forgotten that we are in Colorado, a state that gets significant winter weather, every year I might add. These people develop a fear of driving and slow down right in the middle of the freeway for no apparent reason. I mean it, 10 minutes to go one mile, (that’s 6 miles an hour). I say if they have such a problem with inclement weather, stay home.

2- People forget they were here yesterday and so was everyone else.
I was under the impression that most of the people on the road in the morning were doing so each day about the same time and knew that other people were doing the same thing. Not so it seems, as most folks seem to be surprised and a bit irritated that other drivers showed up at the same time as them to get somewhere. Fingers are waving, horns are honking and a general mood of frustration seems to prevail. I think I have found the cause of hyper tension; the morning commute. Let’s alert the American Heart Association and see if we can campaign to get rid of rush hour. Anyone with me on this?

3- No one cares about the journey, only the destination.
Now I have to admit, I am keeping my eyes mostly on the road when I drive and may have missed all the happy drivers, but I haven’t personally witnessed very many people having a good time. What happened to the sentiment that the joy was in the journey? There are a lot of people in a big hurry to get somewhere they don’t really want to go. That sounds like it could be a definition for insanity if you ask me. Where’s the joy I ask? I have found some joy in watching people, (when my eyes aren’t on the road), doing the things they do. Nose-picking, singing, reaching for _________(small children, a purse, something in the back seat), eating, it’s amazing what goes on out there.

4- Everyone, including myself, forgets that windows are not just for seeing out of.
I was singing to myself the other day and forgot all the words to the song, so I started making up words to go with the tune. I amused myself and as amusement will do, it led to laughter. And as laughter all by yourself will do, it led to me to be more self aware, so I looked to see who might have seen my personal moment of hilarity. I had forgotten until that moment that my windows were transparent and the view into my car was clear. Then I remembered a wonderful fact. Cell phones have ear pieces! I don’t have one, but how would anyone who may have witnessed my outburst know whether I was amusing myself or someone on the other line? I can talk to myself all day long and no one will ever know if I am crazy or just on the phone. Now if I can just remember not to pick my nose, it’s all good.